Sunday, August 10, 2014

Under water

The weight in my heart's starting to get heavier, the suffocating feeling I have in my stomach is growing, and so is my fear. Fear, what a strange and particular word, it can drown you in so many different ways. This time it's drowning me in goodbyes. Goodbye to my four walls, these walls have seen me cry my lungs out, go crazy due to the smallest thing, sing lyrics that I know better than the palm of my hand; they have held pictures that show the most sincere and humble smiles, posters of stories I wish I could escape to... They are my personal box.

Still, there are worse goodbyes when you're surrounded by people who let you be and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. Those are the people worth writing about; they will be in my own safe box forever, even if they're only a memory, a letter or a glimpse of a smile. They have made me strong and shown me that weakness can be overcome.

This fear, the fear of having to let something go, will always be an open wound, something inevitable. There are always cities to leave, stories to be finished having to move on to the next chapter and planes to catch. This time I'm flying with no return, I'm leaving with an unknown future and a ticket that only goes one way.

2 comments:

  1. A veces somos lo que nos prohíben, lo que nos obligan a aceptar, o lo que nos arrebatan.
    Recuerda que eres capaz de arrancar todo eso de tu alma y de recrearte con palabras.
    No tengas miedo a ser transparente, o a plasmar lo que sientes. No dejes esta vía de escape, porque me declaro tu fan, mi chica fantástica de 5.
    Recuerda que el pasado es sobre lo que se basa nuestro presente, y que uno puede llegar a ser lo que quiera, y tú serás lo que te propongas; Tengo fe en ti.
    Te voy a echar muchísimo de menos.
    Y recuerda una última cosa, por mi: ''Hope, it is the only thing stronger than fear''

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    1. Eso mismo pienso hacer, desahogarme a traves de las palabras. Ser yo misma con un boli en la mano y siempre mirar adelante sin dejar lo bueno atras.
      Muchisimas gracias, ya sabes que yo tambien la tuya siempre. Ahora el escribir nos ha unido mas aun y ten claro que nada nos va a separar.
      Te quiero mucho.

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